A very stoned friend of my son’s came over one night and ate enough of my leftover potato salad to feed three or four. He viewed it as such an iconic dish that finishing it off was a kind of patriotic act, like standing up for the national anthem at a ball game.
He might not have felt the same way if he were a southerner. There are folks just a plane hop away who make potato salad with flaky russets instead of waxy new potatoes, and consider the dish incomplete without a little pickle juice. If a stoner from there ate a potato salad made with whole, skin-on slices they might need rehab treatments involving grits and pimento cheese.
Now that it’s close to Thanksgiving, I recall that there are quiz sites – like this one on BuzzFeed – where you can tick off what you’ll be eating, and they’ll magically predict the state you’ll be eating it in. The political stat geek site FiveThirtyEight even has a downloadable breakdown of regional dishes. In all of these, turkey is the common denominator – you are what you eat on the side, apparently.
Your classic deli potato salad is made of nothing but cubed peeled russets and dressing, served in a perfect, paprika-dusted half dome next to a sandwich on a thick china plate, with a sprig of curly parsley. You can sub Idaho spuds in the recipe below, but I do think that waxy new potatoes, with their scrubbed, mineral-rich skins, are much more interesting. It could be a New England thing – this is the land of brown eggs and red potatoes – or you could just call this a deluxe version.
The secret to all of these mayo-based salads is to not leave the dressing proportions to chance. Do it up ahead of time using this insanely overstuffed recipe and dress it just before serving,making it as moist or as dry as you like. If you do prep it beforehand or have leftovers, drain out any liquid and give it an extra toss with a bit more dressing. Commercial premixed salads have a scary long shelf life, but rarely taste completely fresh. Yours will.
To complete the holy trinity of sandwich, salad and slaw, I’m also including a simple cole slaw recipe. Eaters, if you keep some of that dressing on hand, you can grab a bag of premixed shredded cabbage and carrots and give your sandwiches the companionship they deserve, in mere minutes. Or just get stoned and eat it over the sink.
Deli Style Red Potato Salad
An iconic red-skinned potato salad.
Let's ignore all those potato pundits that tell us to use russets. Find some nice new red potatoes. If they're not the small creamer variety, cut them up into uniform large chunks.
Start the potatoes in cold salted water, bring to a boil quickly, then simmer with care. You might say they're done when they slip off a small, sharp knife. You might also say they're done, authoritatively, when the temperature in the center hits 205 degrees. You might notice that this takes around 15 or 20 minutes. You can also just taste one.
Drain the potatoes and put them in a big bowl. While they are still hot, sprinkle with the vinegar and toss them around a bit. Let cool completely. Slice them into rounds, add the other ingredients, and store in the fridge, well wrapped, until ready to serve. With an hour or so to go, add the dressing and mix well but gently.
Gratuities
Potato salad in the north attracts the same kind of patriotic mysticism as grits in the south. I can't believe how many recipes out there call specifically for russets (aka Idaho) potatoes vs. my beloved redskins.
But now that I have that off my chest - yukon gold potatoes do work well, but they don't look as festive. I love red onion in potato salad; my wife doesn't. Bacon is great - of course. Crisp up two slices per pound of potatoes. I think I made this salad once with sauteed, crisped proscuitto and peas. Maybe it was just a dream, but that does sound good. All of these are meant to go with the extra-sweet, extra-salty, extra-creamy deli dressing linked above. Potato salad using homemade mayo is something else entirely. Something French.
I think eggs are important. We could go on and on about this, but I'll just tell you: don't boil them at all. Put a steamer basket in a covered saucepan and build up a nice head of steam. Pierce the eggs in the dull end. Steam them, covered, for 10 minutes exactly, fish them out into a bowl and run cold water over them for a minute or two. Add ice to the bowl if you want to use them right away, and let them sit for 5 or ten minutes.
The big thing about steamed eggs is that the shell never sticks to the top layer of white. The big thing about 10 minutes is that, apparently, eggs understand the decimal system. Regardless of size and initial temperature, after 10 minutes of steaming the eggs are perfectly cooked, with no trace of gray around the yolk, and a small sphere of creaminess in the very center. I'm kidding. But not really; this pretty much works.
It's good not to make potato salad too far ahead. It gets watery, and the blush of youth fades. Having pre-made dressing on hand saves last-minute measuring, ensures a fresh-tasting salad, and lets you set the richness level you desire.
Ingredients
Directions
Let's ignore all those potato pundits that tell us to use russets. Find some nice new red potatoes. If they're not the small creamer variety, cut them up into uniform large chunks.
Start the potatoes in cold salted water, bring to a boil quickly, then simmer with care. You might say they're done when they slip off a small, sharp knife. You might also say they're done, authoritatively, when the temperature in the center hits 205 degrees. You might notice that this takes around 15 or 20 minutes. You can also just taste one.
Drain the potatoes and put them in a big bowl. While they are still hot, sprinkle with the vinegar and toss them around a bit. Let cool completely. Slice them into rounds, add the other ingredients, and store in the fridge, well wrapped, until ready to serve. With an hour or so to go, add the dressing and mix well but gently.
Gratuities
Potato salad in the north attracts the same kind of patriotic mysticism as grits in the south. I can't believe how many recipes out there call specifically for russets (aka Idaho) potatoes vs. my beloved redskins.
But now that I have that off my chest - yukon gold potatoes do work well, but they don't look as festive. I love red onion in potato salad; my wife doesn't. Bacon is great - of course. Crisp up two slices per pound of potatoes. I think I made this salad once with sauteed, crisped proscuitto and peas. Maybe it was just a dream, but that does sound good. All of these are meant to go with the extra-sweet, extra-salty, extra-creamy deli dressing linked above. Potato salad using homemade mayo is something else entirely. Something French.
I think eggs are important. We could go on and on about this, but I'll just tell you: don't boil them at all. Put a steamer basket in a covered saucepan and build up a nice head of steam. Pierce the eggs in the dull end. Steam them, covered, for 10 minutes exactly, fish them out into a bowl and run cold water over them for a minute or two. Add ice to the bowl if you want to use them right away, and let them sit for 5 or ten minutes.
The big thing about steamed eggs is that the shell never sticks to the top layer of white. The big thing about 10 minutes is that, apparently, eggs understand the decimal system. Regardless of size and initial temperature, after 10 minutes of steaming the eggs are perfectly cooked, with no trace of gray around the yolk, and a small sphere of creaminess in the very center. I'm kidding. But not really; this pretty much works.
It's good not to make potato salad too far ahead. It gets watery, and the blush of youth fades. Having pre-made dressing on hand saves last-minute measuring, ensures a fresh-tasting salad, and lets you set the richness level you desire.
Deli Style Cole Slaw
A classic deli cole slaw with some post-deli suggestions.
Shred the cabbage rather finely with a large knife or slicer. Peel and grate carrots rather coarsely. Mix together with the dressing. Consider some postmodern deli additions: more fresh dill or other herbs, pumpkin or sunflower seeds, currants, grated celery root as a substitute for some of the cabbage, a bit of unsweetened shredded coconut.
Ingredients
Directions
Shred the cabbage rather finely with a large knife or slicer. Peel and grate carrots rather coarsely. Mix together with the dressing. Consider some postmodern deli additions: more fresh dill or other herbs, pumpkin or sunflower seeds, currants, grated celery root as a substitute for some of the cabbage, a bit of unsweetened shredded coconut.