My mall food court life lasted a few short years, but I learned a lot. One thing I learned is that the Chinese place will outsell everyone, with Mexican pretty close behind, especially in Los Angeles. Seafood and barbecue, which were my own specialties, lagged a bit, which gave me lots of time for abstract thoughts.
What, for example, makes Chinese food so incredibly popular? If you think of your everyday, everywhere Chinese restaurants as outposts of a single giant franchise – which they pretty much are, the menus and recipes all being more or less the same – there are way more Chinese restaurants in the US than all the Burger Kings, Mickey Ds, and KFCs combined.
I adore Chinese food, and I get that even a really ordinary General Tsao chicken is more appealing than grilled fish most days, but why is that, exactly? Why, in other words, did Panda Express kick my butt so very, very hard?
I believe it’s because Chinese food, among all the great cuisines of the world, most successfully blends each of the three major fast food groups – sugar, salt and fat – in a single dish.
Let’s think about this. If you can combine sugar, salt and fat in a single deliverable food unit, you’ve got a winner – especially if you can fold in a bit of crunch. Most popular western foods manage just two of the three. Combining fat and salt gives you fried chicken and french fries. For salt and sugar, you’ve got barbecued potato chips. Fat and sugar get you ice cream and every kind of pie.
Your classic fast food hamburgers and hot dogs might sneak in there, once you add the ketchup, relish, and a sugar-infused bun. I’m sure that’s why the combo is so popular. But sweet and sour pork? Triple crown, hands down.
There are a few things in the deli world that might pass muster (or mustard): reuben sandwiches, with their sweet spread of dressing contrasting with the salty, crunchy sauerkraut and fatty corned beef and cheese. Barbecued short ribs. But what about the sides – specifically the cole slaw and potato salad?
Eaters, the secret to deli-type slaw and potato salad is that they contain way more sugar and salt than you would ever have the nerve to add at home, particularly if people are watching. But together, we can fix this. Just get everyone else out of the room and follow these simple recipes.